Thanksgiving weekend
🦃 Thanksgiving can be complicated; some reflections + weekend check-in
On Thursday morning, I sat down to read The Morning newsletter from The New York Times. It’s something I do most mornings over breakfast. I started during the pandemic and appreciate the overview of the day’s top stories. Each newsletter also typically starts with one theme or topic. On Thursday, it was about Thanksgiving. It struck a cord and may with you, too. Under Sam Sifton’s byline, it began:
Good morning. You taking care of yourself? Getting some “me” time? I don’t write much about feelings, generally, but this is a day that can be thick with them: judgy siblings; over-served cousins; ungrateful offspring; that silent stranger who arrived with your aunt and who might be her boyfriend, it’s hard to say.
Here’s what to know: Every little thing is going to be all right. You’re going to serve the best meal that you can under the circumstances, and it’s going to be delicious and well received. You are not going to change anyone’s mind or behavior today, and that’s all right, too. Put an ashtray out on the porch for Uncle Bertie. Change is not what today is about.
Today is about giving thanks. Today is about practicing radical empathy. Today is about acceptance of things as they are, not as you wish them to be. Just do your best! ….
Finally, don’t forget to give thanks to all those around you today. They matter.
Indeed.
If you’re not yet a subscriber, you can become one here:
A friend of mine calls Thanksgiving his favorite long weekend of the year. Perhaps you feel the same. I often do.
But Thanksgiving can be complicated.
I remember in college how excited I was to get home on Wednesday night — to see my family, have homecooked food, and relish in the long weekend ahead. I also remember the stress of Sunday night, returning to campus and staying up late to finish a term paper due the next day.
As an adult, Thanksgiving can be complicated in different ways. What traditions do you have, what traditions might you marry into? If you have a partner, how do you balance time with each family? Do you try to see both families every year or alternate years? Once, when I was dating, we tried to see both families on the same day — appetizers and games here, meal and pumpkin pie there. Another friend told me he celebrated Thanksgiving on Tuesday with his family — so he could celebrate it with his in-laws in another state on Thursday.
One of the comforts of Thanksgiving is that the menu is so well known: turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes or yams, a veggie dish, and pumpkin pie. You can practically make the grocery list in your sleep. But hosting Thanksgiving can still be stressful.
While many were gathered around the dining room table with family on Thanksgiving, others were working — trying to save lives in hospitals, keep us safe in our communities, and get us where we need to go — and unable to be with their families.
For others, there may have been an empty chair around the table, memories of a loved one, or the anguish of a terminal diagnosis.
Thanksgiving can be complicated. Whatever your Thanksgiving reality this year, I wish peace and comfort for you.
How was your Thanksgiving?
When I came home on Thanksgiving night, the house on the corner had already turned on its Christmas lights. Last night as I went to bed, I noticed our neighbor had put up lights, too.
It’s a reminder that this weekend is, for many, a transition point from fall to the holiday season.
This morning the leaves I haven’t yet raked in the front yard are frosted and beautiful in the early morning light.
The day is still young and full of potential.
If you are fortunate enough to have Thursday-Sunday off from work or school, you still have half of your long weekend left to enjoy.
A friend I haven’t seen in too long reached out to do coffee. Lovely, yes.
Consider this your halftime check in.
How will you choose to spend your time?
Whatever you do, may you be blessed with good health and moments that matter.
Be well,
-Bryce