Who will come to your funeral?
Have you ever stopped to think about it? I know it may sound like an odd question. But hear me out.
Think of the funerals you have attended. The ones you had to go to. The ones you felt obligated to go to. The ones you chose to go to. Some were probably family. Others may have been friends, even coworkers, or people who really impacted you.
Remember, too, any funerals you may have skipped. That’s sad, but I wasn’t that close to the deceased, you might have rationalized. Or: showing up would be awkward — I will hardly know anyone there.
And then think about the ones you missed — and regret to this day. People who you may not have been that close to but who made a meaningful impact in your life.
I get it. Few people probably love funerals. Even when they are framed as a “celebration of life,” it’s still a very somber reality. Someone we knew is no longer alive.
Some day, that will be true for each of us.
Who will come to your funeral?
I remember when I shared the news that my dad had passed unexpectedly. One friend who was living out of state at the time said simply: I need to be there. I didn’t really understand it at the time. I was in too much shock.
The day before the funeral, we met my uncle at the airport. The last time we had seen each other was a few years before at another family funeral out of state. “We’ve got to stop seeing each other like this…” he or my brother said as we shook hands, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
The day of the funeral I was struck by how many people showed up. My dad was a quiet man who kept a low profile, loved his family, and was active in his business.
The chapel filled with people and they were spilling into the lobby. I heard stories that day from people from all walks of life about the positive impact my dad had in their lives. It was such a gift to hear and learn.
Last year, I wrote about a funeral that I knew I needed to attend:
(If you’re newer to
, I encourage you to read it.)When it’s your turn to go, how will people react to the news?
What will your legacy be?
Who have you impacted?
Who in your life will say I need to be there?
May we each live a life of good intent and positive impact.
Be well,
-Bryce
I think of this from time to time. It's one of the reasons I went to the hospital last week to see my husband's aunt who is moribund. It was important to me that I could look her in the eye and thank her for always being kind to me.
In the same way we may regret going to a funeral, we'll regret not going to the care center, hospital, hospice house. The family wants to hear the stories. True. How much better to hear them being told to the loved one and watch their eyes glow again.
Great piece as always, Bryce!