How chance connections can impact your life
One from the heart. Give someone a hug today.
Welcome to this week’s issue. I’m glad you’re here.
Last week we focused on perspective. We discussed the concept of the bucket list and finding the joy in your life. We asked two questions:
Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?
I didn’t know it at the time, but it proved to be a fitting preview to this week.
This week
This one is from the heart.
As we move through life, people come and go. Sometimes the people we are closest to — the ones that we assume will be there forever — leave us. Sometimes it’s final like a death or a divorce. Other times, it’s more gradual as we just grow apart. I’ve experienced this and it’s a topic we may return to sometime.
Today, however, I want to focus on the other people — the people who happen into our lives — who wind up being ongoing characters in ways we may not have been able to anticipate initially.
I met one such person in college. We were both nearing the end — this person was about six months from graduating and I would graduate the following year. We came from completely different backgrounds, had different fields of study and different groups of friends. We met randomly but hit it off and became acquaintances and later friends. We had fun together, sharing a love of music and other things.
It would have been easy for us to lose touch after we graduated. After all, I lost touch with many people I met in college. Most, actually. But there was something that caused us to stay connected.
…
I lost my dad unexpectedly in my 20s. When you still have a living grandparent, it never crosses your mind that you might lose a parent. And so to do so is a shock and creates a huge whole that never gets filled.
When my friend’s mom passed a few years later, I immediately bought a condolence card but never sent it; I couldn’t quite find the right words. It’s something I still regret to this day. My heart ached for my friend.
…
A few years later, I remember one particular time we met for happy hour. It was a Tuesday evening if I recall. My friend had cycled through a few different jobs by that point and was doing well in the current job but really wanted to be doing something different. As I listened and we discussed the pros and cons, hopes and fears, it became clear: my friend had a real passion and I encouraged my friend to pursue it.
In the ensuing years, my friend would indeed start a business centered in that passion, which continues to this day. The product is amazing and has brought joy to so many. I am proud of my friend.
…
Some years on, we met again one summer day in a park. By that time, my friend had started a family and it was a joy to meet the little one. I was so happy for them.
…
As the years continued on, it would become determined that my friend’s child had a very rare health condition.
…
Last night, I opened Facebook for the first time in about a month. The very first and only post I saw was from this friend. My friend’s child had passed away. So young. Too young. I was in shock. I didn’t immediately know what to say.
But I also knew I needed to be there.
The memorial service was today. I had grand plans for this weekend. Lots to accomplish. But life intervened. I felt called to be there.
And I’m glad I went.
It was inspiring to see the number of lives touched by this precious little kid who always seemed to have a big smile and eyes that just made you melt inside. Clearly this kid had brought a lot of joy to the lives of others.
I gave my friend a big hug.
I also thought about how long we had known each other — over two decades already — and how much has happened during that time.
One never truly knows how long they’ve got. Give someone you love a hug today.
…
Something that has always impressed me about this friend is her ability to create joy. During the reception, I noticed a flurry of activity in the lobby. While people were eating in the main reception area, a team of volunteers were discreetly wrapping bouquets in paper. As friends and family and guests left, they were greeted with this surprise bundle of joy:
Even in the midst of grief, my friend found a way to lift up the spirits of others in her community. May God bless her and her family.
Thank you for reading,
Bryce
This really touched me. I'm holding space for all of the losses you mentioned, and thinking about how you showed up for your friend. I particularly relate to the quote about buying a condolence card but never sending it -- it's such a common experience; not being able to find the right words, wanting to show up but not knowing quite how to do so. It's so important to be there for one another and hold on to our close relationships.
Meaning is all around us but easier to understand at sometimes like this more than at others. Souls never die and parting is a temporary thing, and this is why it makes a real difference to express such gratitude for the time we have together. Investing joy is the greatest action we can invoke.
Thank you for sharing.