Finding joy
On perspective, bucket lists, and saying what you need to say
Welcome to this week’s issue. I’m so glad you’re here.
Last week we wrapped up our series on 5W1H. I hope you found it informative, if not enlightening. I found the framework helpful to think through and clarify what we’re doing here. Thank you, again, for your patience and continued engagement as I wrestled with each of these questions in public. (While it may have been wiser to do all of this thinking before starting this Substack, it may be helpful for someone else just starting out to see the process documented.)
This week we are focused on perspective.
🎬 The Bucket List
Morgan Freeman has long been one of my favorite actors (I love his distinctive voice). I first remember seeing him in The Shawshank Redemption, which remains one of the all-time great films.
Recently, I watched one of his movies that I never caught when it came out: The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson. Perhaps you’ve seen it? I really enjoyed it and would highly recommend it. It made me laugh. It made me feel a whole range of emotions: from happy to sad. It’s both funny and moving—sometimes the best kind of movie if you ask me.
If you’ve never seen it (and even if you have), watch the trailer now:
It’s funny, right? Moving, too.
Two people with very different lived experiences (one blue collar, one billionaire) arrive at the same place: a terminal diagnosis. Unlikely bedfellows, as they learn from one another, the two find common ground and become friends.
Never underestimate the impact you can have on another person.
Make a list: things we want to do in our lives
Morgan Freeman’s character notes how his freshman philosophy professor assigned this exercise called a bucket list. “We were supposed to make a list of all the things we wanted to do in our lives before…” he says before Jack Nicholson’s character finishes the sentence, “…we kicked the bucket.”
I suspect this movie gave rise to the concept of the “bucket list” in popular culture over the last 15 years or so.
Do you have a bucket list?
If you do, what is something that is on your bucket list?
Find the joy in your life
Near the end of the film, there is a moving moment (I won’t give it away in case you haven’t seen the movie and want to). It is Hollywood, after all. That said, there is value in the message: find the joy in your life.
There's no way I can repay you for all you've done for me, so rather than try, I'm just going to ask you to do something else for me: find the joy in your life.
— Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) (source)
These are the two questions that get asked:
Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?
There is a certain clarifying quality to these two questions. They are penetrating. They encourage reflection. And, potentially, change. However you answer these questions today, know that it’s okay. Your answers can change. You may suddenly feel sad realizing your life is busy but devoid of joy. Or you may be smiling, grateful for all the joy you’ve found in your life. Similarly, you may be realizing that you don’t feel like you are doing a good job of bringing joy to others in your life. Again, it’s okay. The key is to be honest with yourself.
🎵 Say what you need to say
Sometimes when I’m feeling, I let the lyrics to a song just wash over me. Say by John Mayer is one such song. It never appears in the movie but plays as the credits roll and the audience is processing its emotions.
The lyrics are below and I would encourage you to listen and let it wash over you, too. Here is a snippet from Spotify and the full song is embedded below via YouTube:
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open, a wide heart
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say (I say you ought to)
Say what you need to say (I say, well)
-Say by John Mayer (source)
What do you need to say?
Now go say it.
Live without regrets.
Have a great weekend everybody! Thank you so much for reading.
Your comments and feedback are welcome. Please reply to this or comment below.
Best,
Bryce
PS: I’ve updated the About page and one line description so prospective new readers will have a better sense of what to expect. Thank you, again, to all of you original intrepid readers who subscribed before they knew what they were getting into! I welcome your feedback, particularly on how to improve the one line description. It’s still not quite there yet. Thanks!
To fill your bucket make certain what you do comes with you on the long ride. All interior journey's are configured this way, everything else is just scenery.