Expectations
Maybe having expectations is a problem
Welcome to Bryce’s Blog, a place for people who are curious, like to learn and want to grow. This Substack seeks to encourage, enlighten and entertain. I strive to help you connect to yourself, to your community and to the world around.
This week we take a look at expectations. Thank you for reading. If you’re not yet subscribed, you can do that here:
I woke up early this morning. The warmth of the early morning light illuminated and made the whole room glow. It’s going to be a great day, I thought.
I sat down to write and noticed that our internet access was down. Lovely.
It’s not the first time but just last night I was thinking to myself how whatever was going on must have been fixed. I guess not.
You see, I’ve been engaged in an ongoing saga with our internet provider for the past few months. After being rock solid and reliable for years, it suddenly started to go offline – pretty consistently around ten o’clock at night. This was frustrating but manageable by going to bed. Less okay was when the connection went offline in the middle of the workday (and Teams/Zoom meetings).
I tried to fix it and then called tech support. Oh, good times. You have to make it through the diagnostics of the Level 1 customer service rep before you can get escalated to Level 2 who has to exhaust all options – each time after placing you on a “brief two to three minute hold” – before they finally agree to send someone out. The first tech that came out was super nice and resolved the issue – or so we thought.
But the issue has continued. Eventually a second tech came out. Again, thought it was fixed.
Since then, it’s gone out 12 more times, most recently this morning. I know because I’ve been keeping a list on my phone with the time and date of each outage. I haven’t called the provider again but it looks like I need to.
The irony in all of this is that I woke up thinking about expectations.
Maybe expectations are a problem.
Having expectations of yourself. Having expectations of others.
It can seem like a good idea, but it can also set us up for disappointment when expectations don’t materialize.
When you expect internet access to be as reliable as landline phone service or electricity.
When you invest in a relationship, expecting it to continue and it does not.
When you make a recommendation and it is met with a lukewarm response.
When you buy something expecting you will use it regularly but don’t.
When you start something with excitement but it doesn’t grow as you had hoped.
When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage or stillbirth.
When you reseed a lawn and it doesn’t come up.
When a friend suggests a future outing but then never invites you.
When you anticipate your company winning a new opportunity and then the client goes in a different direction.
When you get an annual physical that your insurance says is covered but you end having to pay all of it.
When someone you love is healthy and then dies suddenly.
When you reach out to a long-time friend and don’t hear back.
When you save for something and then realize that with inflation it costs more than you had planned.
When you expect that if you go to bed at ten and wake up at six, you will be rested and ready for your day – but are still tired.
When you give your all to your job – and then get laid off.
When you try to start a new habit believing it will improve your life – but don’t develop the discipline.
When you assume a friendship means as much to the other person as it does to you.
When a company advertises a “free, onsite estimate” and then charges $195.
When you have visions of everything you want to do this summer and realize the season is already half over.
When you suggest going to a music festival and then get too tired to go.
Maybe it’s better to live without expectations. Then you can’t be disappointed.
What do you think?
🦦Media Embed
Sometimes people (or animals) surprise you. This week’s feel good story has to be the story of the sea otter stealing a surfboard and surfing off the coast of California. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a read.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Be well,
-Bryce
I like the idea of not having expectations, but I think it is a very hard thing to do.
I mean, to do so wouldn’t we have to expect ourselves not to have expectations...
Either way this was a great read.